Ode to Jamon (Ham) and Cheese

This is our Ode to Jamon (Ham) and Cheese dedicated to Argentina where we ate and still continue to eat ham and cheese prepared in every possible way.





Ode to Jamon (Ham) and Cheese
By Lori and Laura













Argentine: I am Argentine
I am Argentine
My name is Hercules.

L&L: That Hercules!
That Hercules!
We do not like
that Hercules!

Hercules: Do you like jamon and cheese?

L&L: We do not like them, Hercules.
We do not like jamon and cheese.

Hercules: Would you like them on some bread?

L&L: We would not like them on some bread
We would not like them with my neighbor Ned.
We do not like jamon and cheese.
We do not like them, Hercules.

Hercules: Would you eat them on a bus?
Would you eat them on a sandwich with no crust?

L&L: We do not like them on the bus.
We do not like them on a sandwich with no crust.
We do not like them on some bread.
We do not like them with my neighbor named Ned.
We do not like jamon and cheese.
We do not like them, Hercules.

Hercules: Would you eat them in an empanada?
Would you eat them, a little or a lotta?

L&L: Not in an empanda
Not a little or a lotta.
Not on a bus.
Not on a sandwich with no crust.
We would not eat them on some bread.
We would not eat them with my neighbor Ned.
We would not eat jamon and cheese.
We do not like them, Hercules.

Hercules: Would you? Could you?
Baked or fried?
Eat them! Eat them!
Don't you hide.

L&L: We would not, could not, baked or fried.

Hercules: You may like them.
You will see.
You may like them as much as me!

L&L: We would not, could not as much as you.
Not baked or fried! There's nothing you can do!

We do not like them in an empanda
We do not like them not a little or a lotta.
We do not like them on a bus.
We do not like them on a sandwich with no crust.
We do not like them on some bread.
We do not like them with my neighbor Ned.
We would not eat jamon and cheese.
We do not like them, Hercules.

Hercules: 5 times a day!
5 times a day!
Could you, would you,
5 times a day?

L&L: Not 5 times a day!
Not the months of Jan, Feb, March, April or May
Not baked or fried! Hercules! Not any way!

We would not, could not, in an empanda
We could not, would not, a little or a lotta.
We will not eat them on a bus.
We will not eat them on a sandwich with no crust.
We will not eat them on some bread.
We will not eat them with my neighbor Ned.
We would not eat jamon and cheese.
We do not like them, Hercules.

Hercules: Say!
On the bus?
Hey on the bus!
Would you, could you, on the bus?

L&L: We would not, could not, on the bus.

Hercules: Would you, could you, in a casserole?

L&L: We would not, could not, in a casserole.
Not on the bus. Not in Hawaii or the North Pole.
Not baked or fried. Not 5 times a day.
We do not like them, Hercules, if we may.
Not in an empanda. Not a little or a lotta.
Not on a bus. Not on a sandwich with no crust.
Not on some bread. Not with my neighbor Ned.
We will not eat them here or there.
We do not like them anywhere.

Hercules: You do not like jamon and cheese?

L&L: We do not like them, Hercules.

Hercules: Could you, would you, in your soup?

L&L: We would not, could not, in our soup!

Hercules: Would you, could you, by the chicken coop?

L&L: We would not, could not, by the chicken coop.
We'll really throw you Argentinians for a loop.